I love me
Hello peng.
Happy birthday. Today you are 32. You have seen Nacho Libre @ cathay picturehouse @ 1510.
You drank F&N Grape and ok pokey strawberry.. you watched the movie alone.. though there are many others in the cinema.. the show is slightly entertaining.. bascially i am not let down..
Maybe it is hard for me to feel let down anymore? or is it that i am always in this state of down that it is not so easy to go lower? haha..
feeling of suicide is coming back again this few days.. it is stronger than ever.. this time, i can think cleartly.. even consider which method is better.. i prefer throwing myself in front of buses.. they won't expect it and buses being slow in reaction will not be able to stop in time.. their big mass compared to my body would most likely to be sucessful killing me.. so less chance of failing??
The only thing holding me back is the thought of life after death.. likely to reborn in a worst state then now?? even if i am lucky to be human again.. the same problem will persist.
other than that, my parents would have to handle my funeral.. and i have not prepared my passing.. it would be a multi facated burden on them.. i shouldn't do this to them.. not for my selfish desire..
furthermore, the bus driver would be in trouble too not to mention the passengers onboard? maybe some of them would be injured too??
.. Bye.. I love you Peng.. maybe i do..
Happy birthday. Today you are 32. You have seen Nacho Libre @ cathay picturehouse @ 1510.
You drank F&N Grape and ok pokey strawberry.. you watched the movie alone.. though there are many others in the cinema.. the show is slightly entertaining.. bascially i am not let down..
Maybe it is hard for me to feel let down anymore? or is it that i am always in this state of down that it is not so easy to go lower? haha..
feeling of suicide is coming back again this few days.. it is stronger than ever.. this time, i can think cleartly.. even consider which method is better.. i prefer throwing myself in front of buses.. they won't expect it and buses being slow in reaction will not be able to stop in time.. their big mass compared to my body would most likely to be sucessful killing me.. so less chance of failing??
The only thing holding me back is the thought of life after death.. likely to reborn in a worst state then now?? even if i am lucky to be human again.. the same problem will persist.
other than that, my parents would have to handle my funeral.. and i have not prepared my passing.. it would be a multi facated burden on them.. i shouldn't do this to them.. not for my selfish desire..
furthermore, the bus driver would be in trouble too not to mention the passengers onboard? maybe some of them would be injured too??
.. Bye.. I love you Peng.. maybe i do..
posted by Singing Man at 3:19 AM
1 Comments:
I'm sorry to hear you had such a sucky birthday. Did i even wish you on that day? Well, i hope from that day till now, things have been much better for you. I never really said this, but i really respect and admire you for ur jump into doing ur own business. I think it takes alot of courage and i wished i had that myself.
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